Sometimes, I wonder if I’m playing God.

Sometimes, I wonder if I’m playing God. I don’t hold the key to any of the answers I’m so desperately seeking, but I continue searching all the same. If the beauty of life lies in discovery and the search for truth, what will define our purpose once the greatest truths are revealed and the root of all evil clearly exposed for all to see? Impossible, you say….well, then that only tells me that my purpose must lie within the search or journey and not the destination.

There are some that believe that there is no path to enlightenment when it comes to mental illness or anything else for that matter; rather, the path to healing and peace is enlightenment itself, for there will be no final “a-ha” moment or introduction into knowledge that leads to complete understanding. The mind is such a complicated tool, and we are but laymen in our knowledge of this occasionally horrendous; yet more so beautiful, reflexive organ. It reacts to everything; it draws us deeper into the world and our own pain at times than our frail bodies can withstand, and we shudder in fright and wonder on its withdrawal.

We are left stranded helplessly on the edge, mind spinning from the last crossing from reality to dream and back again. Should we continue to search, to confess, to fight…to write? Or should we retreat and save up our armor for another day, another battle? How close do we have to get to reason to know that we are without? Sometimes, I just wonder…

Realization of Mind

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